My room smells like vodka and shame
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
