Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just want to make out with him forever
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
