so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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