Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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