"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
