Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
