just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
