there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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