At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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