sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
