Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize