Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
