I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
