Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
