Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
