you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize