i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
