i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
