I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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