should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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