Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
