it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
