My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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