Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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