I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
