I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
