i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
