Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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