let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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