it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
