Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Someone signed my nipple.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
