WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
4 words: hood of his car
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
