Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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