I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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