STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
