if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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