Non-Jews are for practice
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
