it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
