even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
