and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
