I am in a vortex of obligation.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
