what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
