She said her name was "party"
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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