I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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