my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
