im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
