Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize