At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
