i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
40s are totally the cure
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize