ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
