Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
