no you cant smoke seaweed
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
