Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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