I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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