I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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