I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize