Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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