If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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