i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize