I bet he comes in French.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
