Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize