HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
