Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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