Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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