Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize