If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
