I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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