Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
