He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
