thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
