Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
