is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
