Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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