The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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