Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
