i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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