she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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